It has been almost 3 years that I have been working, and ever since, I have dreamt of settling down in Mumbai, A dream that I have nurtured from childhood, for reasons not quite clear to me. However, every time there was a chance to take that road, luck has been not so lucky for me and Bombay has been eluding me, though, I do find ways and means of going there as often as I can.
I was 25 when I started working and I knew I had time to take the hard decisions in life like where to settle, when to settle and so on and hence they were kept on the back burner. I was busy enjoying life in my own way, and as time passed by I kept procrastinating, and soon I realized I had run out of time. Now, as I stand in the 28th year of my life, these decisions are staring at me from very close distance.
For reasons that would never allow me to go to Bombay, I took a transfer to Delhi about a year and a half back. Ever since I have been trying to convince myself that may be Delhi is where I should settle but till date I have not found any reason to do so and today when I ask myself why at all Delhi or Mumbai, why not some other place, I have no answer. This leads me to the next obvious thing, what are the parameters that I should use to decide on a place to settle down? Interestingly I realized I do not have an answer to that as well. Then was my dream of settling in Bombay just a castle in the air without any basis? Is my dislike for Delhi also a baggage from my past or is there a substance to my feeling?
The more I think of these the more I am confused and put off my thinking for some more time. However, I think I have run out of time and I have to take a decision and live it until I can change it.
So, let me figure out what are my parameters to evaluate a place for settling down? I would start by figuring out what interests me. Topping that list is my social life and circle of friends. Well a Bombay, Bangalore, or even a Chennai would surely score higher than Delhi on that count. This is one big problem I am not able to cope with in Delhi. I am just not able to develop a circle that acts and thinks like me. When I say act and think like me, I mean a bunch of esoteric and fiercely independent people who love to enjoy life and its every moment, who would hit the pub at the drop of a hat or twist and turn their bodies every weekend, a bunch of people who love traveling, who love discussing everything under the sun, who love dreaming and exploring. But did I ever had a group like this? I think I did. My circles in Chennai, Bangalore, my escapades with my IIT mates be it in the pubs and discs in Chennai, Bangalore and Bombay or the numerous trips to Pondicherry, Mahabalipuram, Munnar, Kerala, Cauvery, Goa, Pune, Jaipur etc .. etc ..etc, or “My” place in Chennai…they all have spoilt me.
If I look back, the past one and half year in Delhi has not been any less eventful, but the kind of effort that I had to put in to convince people to get on with these things is mind-boggling. This is where I miss a cohesive group that is always on the move, intra or inter city.
Another thought that comes to my mind is have I not tried enough? Well, I do not really know the answer, may be I have, may be I have not, may be I have become more rigid and hence the comfort factor with new people does not develop as fast as it used to in the past. However, I would still say, I have not met a bunch of people like that. However, lately, my office group seems to be a promising one.
Well, I think this is the single largest factor influencing my decision and the day I am able to spot a circle in Delhi, I will own it up. Infact, this city has grown on me, I have started believing that even Delhi has a pulse and soon I plan to explore and find that pulse myself. The elites and literati of south Delhi, the middle class of west Delhi and the sarkari babus of central Delhi, all create a mysterious blend of culture, attitude and values. One really has a lot to take from this city and slowly I have realized that this is where I grew up, this is where I learnt my lessons of life, this is where my memories of strewn all over, may be this where I should live.
And Bombay? Well, will Bombay runaway? Can I not fly there when I want to, Can I not live Bombay as a NRM (a Non Resident Mumbaite)? Well it sounds like a horrible compromise, but then did I not hear somewhere that life is all about the compromises that we make? J I think I need to decide on this and live it for sometime and try exploring all that I want from a city.
Let me live my city and then complain, Let me give Delhi a fair chance.
